A month in. A bit homesick. A lot to process at one time.
In the midst of every great thing there are always moments where you wish you could speed up time, or at least pause it to breathe. Yesterday I had a moment and thanks to Greg, I could talk it out.
At this particular point in my life I have a lot to think about, as far as my future goes. I have fallen in love with a lot of Nica things. If you don't know me, I get really excited and passionate about good things easily. In my brain, every other second I say I am going to move here, then the next one i am saying I just want to go back to Chicago. Its very exhausting. I am aware that I do not need to make that decision right now, so the next second I think "Joanna, stop thinking about that!"
Yesterday I was chopping away, dicing carrots and celery for dinner. Little ants were running rampantly across the table and the food. All I wanted to do was go and grab some bleach and raid, exterminate, and throw away the food! I had to contain my self, Griselda never seems to mind the ants, I didn't want to offend her. It is not that she is a dirty person at all, ants everywhere in the house is just normal. I have been able to get over some of my phobia of ants, but on days where I'm home sick and my mind is all over the place, its hard to find the strength to get over myself.